Today’s menu: Take it or leave it
The day’s toll has been put to rest. She has done what’s best to put the noisiest tummies to ease. She then tries to moves on to her personal mission – to save the world.
After all, her mind is sharpened by her cheekiest kid. Her eyes brightened from correcting her child’s homework. Her feet agile from the errands she runs. Her hands forever resourceful from the discount vouchers that always never fail to seize her attention. Her heart fostered by needs she find in the family. Her gut more resolute with the confrontations she makes to ‘wake up your idea’. She becomes more than she was, not less.
Then, gradually, from the height of her knees, one by one, her kids become the height of… Moms. Though they slowly loosen their grip, moms never graduate from being your Mom. She worked her life to see you lead the best life that you can have. Have you ever wonder about her own dreams and passions?
Yes, your mom, too, has dreams and passions beyond the shape of you. But truth be told, moms often have to struggle with their identities before they can see out from “Mom’s kitchen” — the place of serving you. In marriage, they become known as somebody’s wife. At your birth, suddenly they become known as somebody’s mother. They lose their names, identities and, sometimes, forget who they are. Essentially, she is just like you. A child of God, with a call.
Here are 8 ways you can hand her life back to her:
1. Give her space to do what Jesus commands
Jesus has commissioned His followers to reach and teach the lost. That’s not just your job or the men’s job. It’s our Moms’ too, as long as she follows Jesus.
2. Release her into the harvest field
Jesus told His disciples that they will receive power when the Holy Spirit came upon them. But that power is given not just for the family to be happy and look pretty. It is so that we all can be His witnesses. Your mom has IT in her to be a powerful witness.
3. Free up her time to attend to the dying
Jesus’ second greatest commandment is to love your neighbour as yourself. Moms are strategically planted by God to minister in the most desolate of places — next door where your neighbours live, in her workplace where souls are in need of reprieve, in the market where she gets an inroad to the hearts of familiar faces and common folks with her daily dose of kindness.
4. Empower her to fulfill her mission
Don’t just stand by the wayside dumbly and look at her do her thing. Join in her mission by first recognising her gifts and honouring her for it. Don’t compare her with other Moms — let her be her unique self. Encourage her when she takes a step and makes blows in the kingdom in the way she was made to.
5. Trust that God will provide
Fix your sense of security on God and not on your moms. In the kingdom of God, there are kingdom principles, and one is that we don’t have to be anxious, saying “What shall we eat?” or “What shall we drink?” or “What shall we wear?”, because God knows our needs, every single one of them, and as the family, including our moms, seeks first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, all these things will be added to the family (Matthew 6:31-33). That’s God’s promise!
6. Pave her path to a happy marriage
We become selfless when we focus on God and His love for us. Pull your own weight in the family by tuning in on God’s love and His mission for us. It keeps the family balanced when everyone in the family, husbands, kids put down the instant need for gratification of our own desires, and fix our eyes as a team to help people turn to Jesus.
7. Husbands, accept that she is not just yours
Husbands, when things are good in marriage, we are tempted to enjoy each other more than Jesus. When things are bad, we can let our hurts in marriage distract us from loving Jesus. Can we really call a marriage “good” if it keeps you from making disciples, caring for the poor, reaching out to the lost, and using your talents and resources for others? It is true that a healthy relationship is important for the sake of the mission, but we must be wary of enjoying marriage too much. Even good things can become idols.
8. Be compelled by the return of Christ
Wherever you are in your walk with God, picture how you want it to end. Imagine yourself standing before God. How would your ideal life look like? Abundant? Full of faith? Full of adventure? A life of no regrets? Now back to reality: We are living in the last of the last days. We don’t have much time left. That glorious day when we are caught up in heavens with Him, we each have our own accounts to give to God (Romans 14:12). Moms too. Don’t deprive her of a weaker account on that day when she meets with Jesus, not as anybody’s wife or mother anymore, but a child of God. That’s the hat the mom with many hats will wear for eternity.